Punctuation is for Losers

Aren't the British Cute?!?
Some time ago, I received a copy of a CD by group from New York who sounds like an English band called Vampire Weekend. While your first thought may be, "Who receives CD's anymore?", your second thought should be, "I should probably look into that band." Of course, if you are at least a little knowledgeable about music, you have likely already heard of them and either love them or hate them.

In any event, one of the better songs on the album asks the question, "Who gives a f*ck about an Oxford comma?" And isn't that a great question? I for one am in favor of the use of an Oxford comma. I think it makes a list look more complete.

Any who....the topic of this post really isn't about the Oxford comma. Rather, it is about this article in which a city in England has arbitrarily decided to end the use of the apostrophe. According the article, some of the apostrophes used in street signs are no longer accurate and confuse GPS systems. Additionally, they say this about the punctuation:

"More importantly, they confuse people. If I want to go to a restaurant, I don't want to have an A-level (high school diploma) in English to find it."

Very well then.

So let me get this straight....the country that is responsible for the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY, a tool universally boned by grammarians and English majors everywhere, has a city that now believes that they shouldn't be confused by the simplest of punctuation marks?!?

The arguments are a bit laughable.

Argument #1: Apostrophes confuse a GPS? How in the name of King Henry can our civilization be responsible for a machine that uses m-f'n satellites to beam directions to and from anywhere in the world to a handheld and mobile device, AND YET, create the same machine without the ability to recognize a damn apostrophe?!? Perhaps this is not a problem with modern punctuation, but a problem with modern technology.

Argument #2: I shouldn't have to be smart to find a restaurant. Huh? If you cannot tell the difference between Connor's Fish and Chips and Connors Fish and Chips, you should be concerned about your level of education. Honestly! It does not at an English degree to read. I teach high school English...even my dumbest students can recognize and correctly use an apostrophe.

Pretty funny stuff. Those Brits continue to amaze, do they not?