I briefly heard about a story last week involving a woman with ridiculously long fingernails. I didn't catch the rest of the story, but somehow I came across an article today explaining the plight of the woman pictured below.
I'm not sure if that picture describes the full stupidity of Ms. Lee Redmond. According to this article from USA Today, Ms. Redmond's fingernails reached a combined length of 28 feet. Aside from the obvious questions (ass-wiping, typing, etc.), the question of how in the hell can Pippy Long-fingers drive was answered recently. Although she suffered no life-threatening injuries in a car accident, she did break her grotesque nails that had been growing since 1979!
Let's take a little look at a few things that have come and gone since 1979:
- Pagers
- Gameboys
- VHS Tapes
- Heath Ledger
- let's stop there...
Is it not mind-boggling to think that Creepo-McLongFingers back-scratchers outlasted Heath Ledger?!?
Look lady, when even the Mormon church will not accept you because you look like you belong at a Star Trek convention, you have issues. I for one am glad that your nails are broken and that good ol' karma has given you a swift kick in the ass.
Enjoy your pseudo-fame, weirdo.
P.S. What else can be added to the list of items with a shorter shelf-life than her nails?
1 comment:
-cassette tapes
-popples
-Hammer Pants
-the DOS operating system
-Word Perfect
-Oregon Trail on floppy disk
-floppy disks in general
-Snap bracelets (although, they should make a comeback)
-Smurfberry crunch cereal
-Friends (although it lives on thru reruns FOREVER)
-Kurt Cobain (and the rest of "grunge music"
-Jerry Orbach (just cause we love L&O around these parts. RIP Jerry)
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