The philosophy of the "drive thru" has given way to some of the greatest means of avoiding personal contact in human history. Thanks to drive-thru's, people can talk to a machine drive around a building and grab a bag of hot, stomach acid resistant, salty McDonald's french fries and begin stuffing their face with four fries at a time without even pausing to realize that they are often so hot that they are burning off a layer of taste buds in the process. Thanks to drive-thru's, people can drive up to a machine, punch in a secret code (most likely their birthday, phone number, or address) and have said machine spit out money. Thanks to drive-thru's, people can pull up to a window, whisper something about needing a prescription for Viagra, and be offered a bag full of long-lasting erection goodness.
On the 8th day, God created the drive-thru...and it was good.
The drive-thru certainly was good...at least until this past Sunday.
In little Mt. Morris, Michigan, the Cathedral of Faith Church of God in Christ offered a Drive-Thru Prayer Service. In addition to already being a church of suspected sinners for the ridiculously long name of their congregation, the COFCOGIC is now certainly being added to the naughty list for their latest antics.
Being raised Catholic, I am naturally a bit skeptical that one can get a drive-thru blessing. In fact, if a Catholic decided to pull through the line, they are probably now suffering from massive guilt over their decision to do so. Even for the non-Catholic Christians, this has to sound a little fishy.
I'll stop now before this turns into a religious rant, but seriously...drive-thru churches? Could this be the sign of the apocalypse?
On a related note: I am still a little pissed at drive-thru's for the recent shenanigans of my local McDonald's. I went through the drive-thru and ordered a 10-piece Chicken Select for $7.99. My wife and I were going to have the chicken on a salad as our lunch for the day, and we were actually quite excited because we hadn't eaten fast food in quite a few months. Anyway, when I got home I opened the bag to find 10 Chicken McNuggets inside. 10 McNuggets would cost $2.50 and they don't taste nearly as good as Chicken Selects. I was beyond pissed, but wasn't prepared to drive back to Mickey D's. Sure, some people say that I should have checked the bag before I left. Those people should be shot. I believe in personal responsibility...those personal responsible for screwing up will be dealt with. On my next trip to Ronald's place, I am stealing 100 salt and pepper packets as a means of retribution. Take that corporate America!
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5 comments:
get some straws too! they are by far the widest and strongest straws of all fast food places
ps- the word verification i have to type in to post this comment is "poohy" (just wanted to share)
pss or pps or ps2- do they have drive through chapels? is it just me or does that seem like the next step? i'll take a look when i go to vegas next week and let you know
Stealing 100 salt and pepper packets might equal $2, I would think about throwing in a few napkins, straws (I am a fan as well)and would have everyone in your group ask for extra ketchup.
i say go with what mr. rock said. steal everything. those purdy pictures hanging outside of the restroom. yours. the fake plants on top of some of the booths. waiting for you. the hat on the toothless cashier. she won't even know you took it, you are that speedy.
you go get your 7 dolla back, and then draw innappropriate pictures on ronald.
also, being a rev, i am all for the drive-thru prayers. i usually do this for people on their way to a big drug deal that could go south, or even a husband on his way to pay a hooker. these people are in a hurry and need a little jesus on their side.
they do have drive thru wedding chapels in vegas. my brother-in-law was married at one of the fine establishments that has one last summer
The straws are a given! What you need to do is walk in there with a ski mask on and demand $7.99 worth of bbq sauce or one of the other precious condiments that they are now keeping in the secret safe behind the counter and charging you .25 cents for! DEMAND THE SAUCE!
pppss-it still weirds me out that you said wife.
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