Several small steps backward for all mankind...

Over the weekend I saw some footage of a couple of men trying to climb a skyscraper in Manhattan. I thought maybe I was dreaming, but alas, it is true. Two real life "Spidermen" climbed a 52-story building in an effort to promote whatever radical pieces of stupidity they had plastered to their bodies. The full story is here. If you want to continue reading this blog, it may be important that you have read the story, or at least skimmed over it for hilarity.

Let's start with the comic book reading nerds who left their parents basements early in the morning with the idea that they were going to climb tall buildings and save the world. Apparently, fume-sucking imbecile number one, Alain Roberts, unfurled a banner during his historically stupid climb that read "Global Warming kills more people than a 9/11 every week". First, Alain is a stupid name. Second, isn't global warming a myth? Third, if global warming isn't a myth, should we create a branch of government and start a global war on global warming and hunt global warming down wherever it exists and smoke global warming out of its holes? Good, Alain. You have correctly recognized that the world has a bit of an energy problem. Do you feel better having risked your own pathetic life and getting arrested just to tell people something that they already knew? Do you even realize the increase in global warming harm that you created with your little stunt? The news media, medical support teams, and people that rushed to the scene of your futile display of protest presumably drove to the event sending harmful crap into the atmosphere. Now that I think about it, shouldn't this idiot also be tried for murder?

Now for the second crackpot who attempted the stunt just hours later. According to the article, the man identified himself as Renaldo Clarke...however, no such man exists at the address he provided. Concerned that he may be a copycat, they sent him for psychiatric evaluation. Lemme get this straight. A man climbs a 52 story building and you send him to a shrink, not because he did something astronomically stupid, but because you were worried that he may not be who he says he is? How about the fact that he easily could have fallen to his death? How about the fact that one person was already previously arrested for trying the same stupid stunt? Back to Renaldo...his message was "Malaria No More". No kidding? Someone thinks we should eliminate malaria? Good idea...we should really get on that. Step one: Round up all malaria patients and rid them of the disease. Step two: Kill all mosquitoes. Step three: Nope, that should to it. Now if it were only that easy...

According to a website run by the first guy, he has already climbed 70 skyscrapers throughout the world. Anyone else hoping that he slips and falls on number 71?

Finally, a great quote from one of the on-lookers: "Only in New York. This is why I live in New York."

Ok lady...as pathetic as the greasy haired meth-babies who climb the buildings may be, you are probably equally as disturbed. You live in New York just because you like to see people climb buildings? I guess if this is your rationale, you are in the right place. Lots of tall buildings in NY. Location, location, location. Anyone else hoping that her job gets relocated to rural American where the tallest building is the 2-story apartment above the 7-11?

I do like stories like this. I like them because I realize that people will do a lot of crazy things for a cause...kinda gives you hope in the world that eventually one of these organizations will use their weekly Monday morning meetings to come up with a good idea--hire a new advertising person.