PDA (Public Displays of Absurdity)

I heard about a story recently where a lesbian couple was kicked out of a baseball game in Seattle because they *gasp* had the audacity to kiss each other during the game.  The story is here if you are interested...if not, you have to settle for my commentary.

Oh where to begin....

Way back in 1839 when Abner Doubleday created baseball, he did so with only a few specific rules. 1) There shall be no crying in baseball; 2) Baseball shall forever be linked to apple pie; and 3) For the love of God, there shall be no kissing at a baseball game.

If you believe rule number three,  you are crazier than my first college roommate who divided his time between dealing drugs, taking drugs, beating up anyone who wasn't like him, making and hanging an effigy of me in our dorm room, and complaining that the original winner on Survivor turned out to be gay.  If you believe rule number three, you have also never attended a professional sporting event where "Kiss Cams" seem to pop up at least once during every game, trying to catch unsuspecting couples and force them to kiss publicly on massive projection screens throughout the stadium.

This is yet another example of a story that has me as conflicted as Charlie Weis at an all-you-can-eat buffet where the main entrees are bacon or bacon grease. (As a side note, what would Charlie do?  Eat and enjoy the bacon?  Soak the bacon in more grease? Eat the grease first and save the bacon for dessert?  The possibilities are endless!)  Anyway...

Here is my conflict.  I really do not enjoy public displays of affection that involve two people locking lips and searching for the tiny bits of food stuck in each others teeth like a bunch of horny little 10th graders locked inside a closet for what is allegedly seven minutes in heaven.  Holding hands?  Fine.  A nice hug?  Fine.  Arms around each other?  Fine.  Engaging in a kiss that would make Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson blush?  Not okay!  However, a little peck here and there...no big deal at all.

Although I do not enjoy some PDA (public displays of affection), I am even more annoyed by the type of absurdity that occurred in Seattle.  I'm not sure who to be mad at the most.  Maybe I am most mad at the women who complained that a couple kissing breaks her moral code to the extent that the couple needs to leave the stadium immediately.  Maybe I am most mad at the Seattle Mariners organization for allowing the will of one women to overrule the will of humanity.  Maybe I am even more upset at the creator of kissing cams who felt the need to draw attention to pecking in public.  I really don't know.

In short, my conflict is that while I am not a fan of mass make-out sessions, I am even less a fan of stupidity.  According to the story and to video, it isn't like this couple was trying to inspect the hangy-balls in each other's throats.  They simply gave each other a kiss.  Even though people may not like it, that is all it was...a kiss.  Grow up disgruntled Mariner fan...get over it.

I'm afraid that this post is a bit disconnected.  Not sure how eloquent I was in my explanation.  Overall, my message to the public is this:  Stop participating in PDA...Public Displays of Absurdity.  This is a big world, not everyone is the same, and that is exactly how it should be.